Social dynamics & campaigns, oh my!

I enjoy watching social dynamics. I don’t care much in participating within said dynamics, but I do enjoy watching people’s behavior and how it derives from interaction. With this said, consider what happens when a woman enters a party or a bar. Specifically, consider what happens when a woman enters a party or a bar and she’s the only female present. That woman, attractive or not, is going to attract a lot attention, and she’s going to have to manage a lot of bullshit Q&A sessions. Hillary Clinton, I realized, has had to go through this process in her campaign. The media treated her like a woman, the public received her as a woman, but most importantly (and I mean this sincerely as a comedian), in her downfall, she acted just like a woman.

Do you remember when she first announced her candidacy? The pool of potential candidates were all men. It was, in other words, a sausage fest. Traditionally, whenever a woman walks into a sausage fest (non-porn variety) she is showered with all the attention that the room has to offer. Same thing happened to Hillary! Once she said she was in, the entire nation was fixated on her like a lone blonde in a bar. Everyone wanted to know who she was, where she’s from, what she did… and acted as if they were interested in her response. “What kind of job do you have? You’re a United States Senator?! From New York? Wow! That must be really interesting!”

After a woman establishes her presence, her monopoly of having all the attention in the world is always endangered whenever a more interesting person (or puppy) is in proximity to a woman. Obama was certainly the most interesting male candidate on the Democrat’s side, and he was able to win the nomination because he handled the attention better than Hilary. Once Hilary noticed that she was losing her grip, and people were becoming less interested in her, she did what women usually do in this situation. She began to lie!

“I was under sniper fire when I landed in [who gives a damn].” Too bad Hillary wasn’t sexy enough for people to make an ejaculation reference to her claims of being shot at. Shit, even her husband outsourced that job. But that statement began a great unraveling for her, methinks. She was the First Lady at the time, of course whatever she does is going to be documented and she had the gall to go against her own record. Why did she do this? To make herself look cooler than she really is! Herein lies the key difference between Bill and Hillary: when Bill lied, he became more popular because of it.

As the campaign slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly continued, her comments became more and more outrageous. But, like most women, she would never admit that she was wrong. No, no! It’s someone else’s fault! Bush, Obama, McCain’t-do-shit, China, or whoever else she could think of (besides herself, for once). More than a month now, she’s been slowly drifting further out to into the sea of the past, and yelling louder and louder. Unfortunately for her, we stopped listening to her. The country, like all men, became disinterested in her when we realized that she doesn’t go to third base. Men’s rule of thumb: no T&A, no Q&A.

Ultimately, this post would wrap itself up into some kind of meaningful social commentary, but I’m talking about politics, the social institution without meaning. The problem with democracy is simple, the people are given too much input in the process. Our nation couldn’t figure out how to program a VCR, and we’re expected to elect the most powerful person in the world? If you give a teenager the keys to a car, don’t be surprised when they wreck it! When the bulk of the voting population has the intelligence of plankton, this is what you get: debates about whether or not America is ready for a black president or a woman president, rather than debates that require critical thinking and reasoning. Yet, in the midst of all this tragedy… this is what we, as a country, accept for our leaders. I have odd standards, I know, but I firmly believe that kissing a baby, visiting the local citizenry and “admiring” their blue-collar jobs should not be a prerequisite for being the president of the fucking United States! If these people had any clue about what the people want they’d stop barging into our lives and leave us the hell alone. Most of us are just trying to score some drugs and you’re making it awfully difficult with your goddamn legislation.

All I know for sure about this election season is that until Election Day, I’ll be waking up thinking how lucky dead people are.